Bruce Wayne [to the Batfamily about the batcomputer]: Who broke it?
[silence]
Bruce Wayne: I’m not mad. I just wanna know.
Dick Grayson: [looks around at everyone] I did. I broke the com–
Bruce Wayne: No. No you didn’t. Jason?
Jason Todd: Don’t look at me. Look at Damian.
Damian Wayne: What? I didn’t break it!
Jason Todd: Huh! That’s weird! How’d you even know it was broken?
Damian Wayne: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.
Jason Todd: Suspicious.
Damian Wayne: No, it’s not!
Stephanie Brown: If it matters, probably not. But Cassandra was the last one to use it.
Cassandra Cain: Liar, I don’t even touch that thing!
Stephanie Brown: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the computer desk earlier?
Cassandra Cain: I use the computer desk as a chair because it’s more comfortable! Everyone knows that, Stephanie!
Dick Grayson: Okay let’s not fight, I broke it. Let me pay for it, Bruce.
Bruce Wayne: No! Who broke it?
Damian Wayne: [hushed tone] Father? Drake’s been awfully quiet.
Tim Drake: Really! Really!
Damian Wayne: Yeah, really!
Tim Drake: Oh my god!
[everyone starts arguing]
Bruce Wayne [off to the side]: I broke it. It kept beeping at me so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Bruce Wayne: [looks back at the kids arguing] Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
[silence]
Bruce Wayne: I’m not mad. I just wanna know.
Dick Grayson: [looks around at everyone] I did. I broke the com–
Bruce Wayne: No. No you didn’t. Jason?
Jason Todd: Don’t look at me. Look at Damian.
Damian Wayne: What? I didn’t break it!
Jason Todd: Huh! That’s weird! How’d you even know it was broken?
Damian Wayne: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.
Jason Todd: Suspicious.
Damian Wayne: No, it’s not!
Stephanie Brown: If it matters, probably not. But Cassandra was the last one to use it.
Cassandra Cain: Liar, I don’t even touch that thing!
Stephanie Brown: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the computer desk earlier?
Cassandra Cain: I use the computer desk as a chair because it’s more comfortable! Everyone knows that, Stephanie!
Dick Grayson: Okay let’s not fight, I broke it. Let me pay for it, Bruce.
Bruce Wayne: No! Who broke it?
Damian Wayne: [hushed tone] Father? Drake’s been awfully quiet.
Tim Drake: Really! Really!
Damian Wayne: Yeah, really!
Tim Drake: Oh my god!
[everyone starts arguing]
Bruce Wayne [off to the side]: I broke it. It kept beeping at me so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Bruce Wayne: [looks back at the kids arguing] Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
do you ever think about the eras each robin is from
dick: what's buzzin, cousin? i just listened to the new episode of captain midnight on the radio- it was the bee's knees!jason: what's crackalackin? did you see star wars? it's the flange, baby! bruce thinks im a narbo for wanting a perm, but he can get bent cause theres no way im going to fight crime looking like a mondo hoser!
tim: WASSUP, WELCOME TO THE FUCKIN NINETIES ive got a mad new style going on with this new hair gel AND i just bought a new pokédeck but batmans still crampin my style cause he wont let me take my SWEET board on patrol- i wanna chance to show the baddies my totally DANK moves!!!
Wow people in Gotham are really sensitive about the Bats. Was discussing on the sidewalk with my friend about how hilariously short the new Robin was and some little black hair kid leaped at me screaming bloody murder while his two brothers had to hold him back, both dying with laughter.
#Calm down squirt! #Visitor from Central City #Guess the shorties are sticking together
ah yes
bruce wayne, father of the year, presents his eight year old with his own plane and lets him fly it
Dick: (in a crowd) This calls for desperate measures
Dick: (yells) HEY I FOUND THIS SAD LITTLE KID
Bruce: (yells) I'M ON MY WAY
Dick: Found him
Dick: (yells) HEY I FOUND THIS SAD LITTLE KID
Bruce: (yells) I'M ON MY WAY
Dick: Found him
Running away to join the circus. That’s one option I didn’t have has a kid.
Should You Fight the Batfamily?
Bruce: fight Bruce. No, no, no hear me out. Fight him. He may be Batman but he probably deserves it in some way. It's Bruce. Most of his kids want to fight him. Odds are if you fight him, he'll make you Robin. If that's what you want, fight him.Dick: Sure, you could fight Dick but why do you want to? What did Dick ever do to you? Isn't his life already hard enough? Let the man have a break once in a while, jeez.
Babs: Do not fight Babs. You can not take Babs. No one can take Babs. At best, you'll have a broken arm. At worst? Your entire life on the world wide web will be over. You will be the next meme. If you wanna risk that, sure, fight Babs, but fuck it you'll always lose.
Jason: Oh, sure. Beat up the dead ZOMBIE KID. Because that's wise? Does he deserve it? I mean, yeah, for the entire Red Hood debacle he definitely does but on the other hand the KID DIED. It's like kicking a fucking wounded wolf. It'll still bite you and you'll feel like a douche. Fight him if you wanna be a douche.
Cassandra: DO NOT FIGHT CASSANDRA. DO NOT DO THIS. SHE WAS LITERALLY BORN TO KICK YOUR ASS. YOU WILL LOSE AND IT WILL HURT. DO NOT FIGHT CASS.
Tim: Fight him. Fight him and shove him into the nearest locker you can find. Don't even question it. Lock the fucking locker and walk away. He's got a fucking cell phone, he'll be fine.
Stephanie: Come on, don't fight Steph. Sure, she'll have a good time but give the girl a break. She's got enough on her planet with Bruce and Tim combined as it is. Just. Fight Bruce for her and then buy her some ice cream. The turn out will be better for you.
Damian: What the fuck is wrong with you why are you fighting the ten year old assassin??? Do you not have any fucking dignity???
Titus: I can't believe I'm saying this--do NOT fight the dog.
Alfred: You are literally the worst person on the planet do not fight Alfred why would you fight Alfred did no one hug you as a child DO NOT FIGHT ALFRED.